I was getting ready for work this morning and I found myself grabbing at my little tummy roll and thinking to myself “Ashley you are so gross” and thinking about it now I feel so ashamed.
I am always telling people to be happy and proud of who they are and how they look. That beauty is measured in the quality of the person not the size of their shorts.
And there I was standing there in front of the mirror beating myself down and telling myself that I am chubby and ugly . . .
I couldn’t believe my attitude, I am my own worst enemy.
The horrible part is that right now, as I type, I still feel this way about the way I look.
Since I’m being honest and laying it all out, warts and all, I will admit that I don’t exactly consider myself a ‘sexy’ person, I never have. There is something to be said about the influence that the media and popular culture has on the world’s population, our concept of what is ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’ is fabricated by the content of magazines and the reflection of celebrities and supermodels.
Like many people out there I simply adore fashion, I have certain styles that I love and it baffles me that I wont purchase the items I love or wear the kinds of things I consider gorgeous simply because I think I am “too big to wear things like that” and I am forever saying ridiculous comments like “one day when I’m skinny I will totally wear this” and “this would look amazing on me if I were a size 8” . . . and all without even trying it on, just assuming that it would look horrible.
Why is it that I cannot find that unwavering confidence that I admire in so many of those around me?
I don’t dislike myself, I don’t by any means think that those tiny 40kg women who slink down the runways blanketed in overly priced fabric and adoration are the true measure of ‘beauty’ . . . so why is it that I am unhappy with my curvaceous figure?
I think its time for me to take a bit of my own advise and start measuring my beauty in the special things that make me ME, rather than looking at the size of my ass and deciding that I’m not what I ‘should be’
I am almost certain that there are women out there that would relate to this post, sitting there nodding along as they read this and thinking “this is totally me!” and this breaks my heart. Why is it that we get so sucked into what we ‘should be’ instead of focusing our time on enjoying ‘who we are’ . . . we are all beautiful, sexy and unique . . . and we should be proud
I don’t really believe in New Years Resolutions, but for 2013 I plan on making this a year for ME, its time to learn to love myself, little fat rolls and all!
Watch this space 😉